Moira Rose's 20 Most Hilarious Quotes In Schitt's Creek

Schitt’s Creek's Moira Rose as one of television's most eccentric and captivating characters, and the best Moira Rose quotes prove exactly that. Within the quirky ensemble, Moira, portrayed with theatrical brilliance by the late Catherine O’Hara in the Schitt's Creek cast, distinguishes herself with her outlandish fashion, uniquely pronounced vocabulary, and unparalleled flair for the dramatic. Her antics, born from the tribulations of adjusting from a life of wealth to small-town simplicity, bring a comedic depth that resonates with audiences, making her moments on screen not just funny, but unforgettable. Moira's charming, off-beat moments are comedic gold, elevating everyone.

The essence of Moira Rose's charm lies in her melodramatic lamentations and the comedic gold of her dialogue, masterfully delivered by O'Hara. Whether bemoaning the loss of her former social status or concocting grandiose plans to reclaim her glory, Moira's lines are a delightful fusion of the absurd and the poignant, providing a steady stream of humor throughout the series. As Schitt’s Creek progressed through its seven season run, the best Moira Rose quotes have not only defined iconic scenes but have also cemented her status as a cultural phenomenon, continually drawing fans into her exaggerated yet strangely relatable world.

"Fear Not, She Hath Risen!"

Season 4, Episode 5, "RIP Moira Rose"

In the Schitt's Creek season 4, a rumor spread online that Moira had died. The entire town was sad by the news – particularly the Jazzagals, of which Moira is a cherished member. The local a cappella group mourned the loss of their spirited friend, so when Moira saw her friends crying over her "death," she gave them the ultimate greeting to prove her life: "She hath risen!" Watching the women learn that Moira was alive was one of the best and most memorable Jazzagals scenes.

The mix of relief and joy that floods the room is palpable, and the reunion becomes a memorable spectacle. This episode not only highlights Moira’s iconic sense of drama but also reinforces the deep bonds within the Jazzagals, making it a standout moment in the series for its blend of humor, surprise, and touching camaraderie.

"Who Put A Picture Of A Ghost On My Desk?"

Season 4, Episode 6, "Open Mic"

In season 4, episode 6, "Open Mic," Moira Rose encounters an unexpected and bewildering surprise that leads to one of her most memorable quotes. Renowned for her worldly knowledge yet sometimes oblivious to the simpler things, Moira is taken aback when she finds what she believes to be a "picture of a ghost" placed ominously on her desk. The scene unfolds with her characteristic mix of horror and fascination, only to discover the "ghost" is actually a sonogram of a baby.

The sonogram in question belongs to Roland and Jocelyn Schitt, who are expecting a child. Roland, ever the prankster and intent on keeping the baby’s gender a secret, decides to hide the ultrasound picture on Moira’s desk, knowing she would be the least likely to decipher its true nature. Moira's dramatic and confused reaction provides a hilarious highlight of the episode, showcasing her flair for the theatrical even in everyday misunderstandings. This moment not only adds a layer of comedy but also subtly underscores the close-knit, albeit quirky, community dynamics within Schitt's Creek.

“How Was I To Know You Were In Peril? You Keep Everything Inside, Like A Bashful Clam!”

Season 5, Episode 13, "The Hike"

Moira and Johnny are one of the best Schitt's Creek couples; they'e eccentric but have a close bond where they both rely on each other. Known for their eccentricities and unwavering support for each other, their relationship is tested under unusual circumstances. The episode reaches a critical moment when Johnny experiences alarming health complications. Struggling for breath, he exhibits symptoms that suggest a possible heart attack, throwing Moira into a state of panic. Accustomed to his usual stoicism and tendency to underplay his vulnerabilities, Moira is caught off guard by the severity of the situation.

In a mix of concern and frustration, and unable to hide her fear of facing life without him, Moira lashes out in her unique way. She exclaims, “How was I to know you were in peril? You keep everything inside, like a bashful clam!” This quote perfectly encapsulates her feelings of helplessness mixed with reproach, highlighting their dynamic where emotional transparency is both a challenge and a necessity. This poignant yet comically charged moment highlights the complexities of their relationship, emphasizing their reliance on one another amidst life’s unpredictable trials.

"If She Takes On Smoke She’ll Never Recover!"

Season 6, Episode 1, "Smoke Signals"

In season 6, episode 1, "Smoke Signals," Moira faces what she perceives as a truly catastrophic event amidst the mundane struggles of daily life in Schitt's Creek. Having endured the frustration of lost acting opportunities and financial downfall, it's not these losses but the threat to her cherished wigs that brings her to a state of utter desperation. The episode captures a moment of high drama when a fire alarm leads to the discovery of smoke billowing from a room — a room where Moira's beloved collection of wigs is stored.

As Roland heroically ventures into the haze to rescue her precious "girls," Moira's panic is palpable. She urgently instructs him, “My girls. Lorna, second from the left. If she takes on smoke she’ll never recover!" followed by an equally anxious plea for Cindy, whose recent styling added to Moira’s distress. This scene shows Moira’s theatrical personality and her genuine attachment to her wigs, which she humanizes and names, treating them as extensions of her identity. Moira frantically concerned over her wigs, juxtaposed with the real danger of the situation, hilariously encapsulates what truly matters to her.

“Alexis! Turtles Do Not Pets Make!”

Season 6, Episode 3, "The Job Interview"

The Rose family's characteristic quirks and challenges with daily responsibilities are highlighted in a humorous subplot involving Alexis and an unusual gift from Ted. As the Roses are known for their glamorous but impractical lifestyle, the notion of them caring for a pet seems far-fetched, which is humorously displayed in this "The Job Interview." The scene unfolds as Alexis tries to adapt to life with a new pet turtle, also named Ted, a parting gift meant to provide her some companionship as their relationship reaches a bittersweet conclusion.

Alexis struggles with her new responsibility, misplacing her slow-moving companion. In a moment of exasperated comic relief, Moira chimes in with her signature dramatic flair, admonishing her daughter with the line, “Alexis! Turtles do not pets make!” This clever inversion of syntax reflects Moira’s theatrical way of expressing even the simplest truths. The line serves as a funny yet poignant reminder of the Roses' ongoing adjustments to their less glamorous life in Schitt’s Creek and the absurdity of their attempts at normalcy, encapsulated in the struggle of keeping track of a turtle.

"Be Careful, John. Lest You Suffer Vertigo From The Dizzying Heights Of Your Moral Ground."

Season 6, Episode 8, "The Presidential Suite"

Moira Rose's knack for theatrical and incisive remarks shines through during a spirited exchange with her husband. "The Presidential Suite" revolves around the couple's differing visions for their latest motel venture, particularly when Johnny decides against indulging in the extravagance of staying in the presidential suite — a decision that Moira deems overly prudent and needlessly self-righteous. Moira, ever the master of eloquent and pointed commentary, delivers one of her signature sophisticated rebukes.

Frustrated with Johnny's high moral stance, she admonishes him with the line, “Be careful, John. Lest you suffer vertigo from the dizzying heights of your moral ground.” This quote is quintessentially Moira — witty, slightly acerbic, and layered with dramatic flair. It serves not only as a humorous jab at Johnny’s expense but also subtly underscores a deeper dynamic in their relationship: Moira challenging Johnny's decisions and pushing him to reconsider their consequences. This interplay, rich with Moira's theatrical language, highlights their enduring partnership, and it's one of Moira's best pieces of advice.

"The Live Crows On Set Welcomed Me As One Of Their Own. One Even Tried To Mate."

Season 6, Episode 4, "Maid Of Honor"

In "Maid of Honor," Moira's acting career takes center stage once again as she grapples with the reality of her current professional standing. The episode delves into Moira’s involvement in the cult film sequel, The Crows Have Eyes III: The Crowening, a project she views as a significant comeback opportunity, despite clear signs that it’s far from a mainstream success. Moira’s unwavering dedication to her craft is evident as she immerses herself deeply into her character, often with hilariously earnest seriousness that borders on the absurd.

With her usual flair for drama, Moira recounts, “The live crows on set welcomed me as one of their own. One even tried to mate.” This line is delivered with a mix of pride and bemusement, capturing her unique blend of delusion and dedication. It highlights Moira’s ability to find significance and a sense of belonging in the most bizarre circumstances, making her one of the most endearingly outlandish characters on television.

"I May Have Been Wrong. You May Have Been Not Wrong."

Season 6, Episode 5, "The Premiere"

In "The Premiere," Moira is faced with the uncomfortable task of admitting she may have misjudged a situation, specifically regarding Alexis's idea for a hometown premiere of her latest film. This episode is particularly meaningful as it showcases both Moira's theatrical work and her complex relationship with admitting her own mistakes. Moira, who typically envelops her concessions in dramatic flair and reluctance, delivers a classic line to Alexis: "I may have been wrong. You may have been not wrong." This uniquely crafted acknowledgment, laden with double negatives, exemplifies Moira's comedic unwillingness to straightforwardly admit that Alexis was correct.

This interaction highlights a moment of vulnerability and personal growth for Moira, who is rarely seen admitting faults without a dramatic display. It also reflects her struggle to openly recognize the contributions of others, particularly when it challenges her own pride. Through this scene, not only is humor effectively conveyed, but it also adds significant depth to Moira’s character, revealing her intricate personality and the nuanced ways she navigates family dynamics and personal development. As a result, "The Premiere" is one of Moira's best episodes.

"You Could Be Hit By A Mack Truck Or Bopped On The Head by A Tiny Piece Of Space Debris."

Season 6, Episode 1, "Smoke Signals"

If there’s anyone who can make a person think about the fragility of life while laughing out loud, it’s Moira Rose. She goes through a roller coaster of emotions in the season 6 premiere. At one point, she genuinely believes her acting career is ruined, and she’s ready to give it all up to focus on daily life in Schitt’s Creek. By the end of the episode, that’s not true. The roller coaster allows her to give us this existential gem.

After losing her job and gaining a job, Moira tells Johnny, "Who knows what will befall us tomorrow, John. You could be hit by a Mack truck or bopped on the head by a tiny piece of space debris." This was Moira's version of #YOLO. Regardless of her career, Moira and Johnny were couples goals for their constant support of one another.

"Alexis… Something Rose."

Season 1, Episode 4, "Bad Parents"

The complexities of Moira and Alexis Rose's relationship are humorously spotlighted in a scene that displays Moira's less-than-stellar parenting skills. "Bad Parents" sets the stage for the evolving dynamic between mother and daughter, revealing the shaky foundation upon which their early relationship is built. During a conversation, Moira attempts to address her daughter formally but stumbles comically, only managing to say, "Alexis…Something Rose." As one of Schitt's Creek's best mother-daughter moments, it reveals that she can't even recall the middle name she bestowed upon her own daughter.

This lapse serves not only as a source of comedy but also as a poignant reflection of the initial superficiality in their relationship. Alexis's reaction to her mother's forgetfulness mixes amusement with a touch of resigned frustration, a dynamic that resonates throughout their interactions in the series. Despite the humor in these moments, they subtly lay the groundwork for their relationship's growth, showcasing how they gradually move from these humorous but strained exchanges to deeper, more meaningful connections.